


annihilation

by umaibo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Depression, Eating Disorders, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Insomnia, M/M, Suicide, Suicide Notes, poor sakusa doesn't understand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:28:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26401924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/umaibo/pseuds/umaibo
Summary: "the world doesn't revolve around you, you know.""i know."
Relationships: Sakusa Kiyoomi/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 45





	annihilation

Sakusa Kiyoomi, the man who hated germs and everything about them. He liked things clean, not just clean, but pretty much sparkling underneath the light. You didn't really understand his obsession with cleaning but you never said anything, you just kept your mouth shut. You knew you weren't good at keeping things clean and you always feared being yelled at by your boyfriend. You rarely ate around him or touched anything in the house, the only things being touched were the bed and closet. You knew if you did anything, you'd do something to fuck up the order your boyfriend had in the house. Yet, your boyfriend noticed it all. All those times you went to the bathroom after meals, all those scars lining your beautiful body, those sobs that wracked your poor frame at night, and those bags underneath your dulling eyes. You looked like a ghost, a shell of who you used to be. Sakusa wanted you back, he wanted your smile, your hugs even when he yelled at you not to hug him, and those sweet kisses you shared.

He just didn't understand.

Every time anything was mentioned, you brushed it off and continued on with your day. He wanted to understand you. He wanted to know what was going on inside. He wanted to help you, to hold you close as you cried at night but he just didn't understand.

Your annihilation would soon come, you knew that, yet, you didn't say anything. It was better that way. 

-

You were currently sitting in your own room, listening to soft music as you wrote something down on a soft sheet of printer paper. It was better than notebook paper, you thought when you pulled it out. Your writing was quick but legible as you could only smile faintly at the words against the paper. Small tears rolled down your cheeks as you finished off the letter with your name. You slowly stood up and gently tucked the letter into an envelope, your lovers name written neatly on the other side. You walked out to gently set the letter on Sakusa's pillow, making sure it was neatly tucked there before returning to your room. Looking around, you smiled at the neatness of it before slipping on a light jacket and your shoes, then walking out to leave the house completely. You hummed quietly and walked through the quiet house before walking out, locking the door with a soft but sad grin. 

Your annihilation was soon. It would be over.

-

Sakusa looked down at his phone, seeing no new messages, calls, or voicemails from you. Weird, was all he thought. He would've at least seen a message from you but nothing. That didn't sit right in his gut but brushed it off as he made his way home, somewhat happy that he would get to see you after being with his teammates. You were his everything and more, even thought he pushed you away but he didn't understand that you wouldn't be there anymore. His star would fade into nothing, like dust he would sweep away.

Sakusa finally made it home and twisted the doorknob, seeing it was locked before unlocking the door and stepping inside. He looked around an noticed everything was clean, something that was new even when you were home. It left an eerie feeling in his heart so he simply called out to you, getting no response in return which only fueled his small panic. He began to wander the house, searching for you until he came into his bedroom. It was clean and neat, nothing looked out of the ordinary except for the letter that rested on his pillow. A sinking feeling rested in his body as he picked it up, carefully opening the letter to see what it was about. Once he saw your writing, he felt sick. He knew this letter signified your death, your annihilation. He read over the letter more and more, seeing small welts where tears met paper. His own tears hit the paper when he finished reading the paper. Maybe it wasn't too late, maybe he could save you. It was too late now, he phone rang out through the silence. He quickly grabbed it and answered it, not even bothering to look at the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Is this Sakusa Kiyoomi?" The voice asked out brokenly, as if it had been crying.

"Yes it is. Who is this?" He asked softly.

"This is (friends name)... I'm so sorry Sakusa.. He's gone. " They spoke out before crying.

The words rang out in his head, you were gone. You were really gone, just like that. You slipped out of his grasp just like that. His star, his everything and more, was really gone. Sakusa just ended the call and threw his phone onto the bed, breaking out in a crying fit as he mourned now. You were gone too fast.

Your annihilation was complete. It was better that way.

-

Your body was found and your funeral was held during the weekend. Many people came to mourn you, but it felt different now. Everything did. You weren't there to comfort him when he was sad.. So that's why it hurts, huh?

**Author's Note:**

> you can request if you please ::
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/26521873


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